That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
