I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
