DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
