dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
