Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
