haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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