what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
