It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
