Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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