You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize