he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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