thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
