The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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