why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize