I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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