If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
