So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
