It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
