There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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