oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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