You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
