i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
