Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
