By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
