hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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