Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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