omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
pop tarts are not kleenex
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
