Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
