fuck your aforementioned shoe
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
