Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
im six kinds of drunk right now
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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