No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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