im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Those nachos came to me in a dream
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
