I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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