who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
