hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
