What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
