Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
