Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
