omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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