Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
