I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
