i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
