So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
