it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
