Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
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