oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
