The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
