Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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