I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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