yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize