so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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