Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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