doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
