chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
