Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
