The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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