Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
