New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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